To the man who lighten up her world, here's a story of how a sweet, innocent seven years old girl fell for you ever since
----2004- She still remembered the moment she woke up from her bed. The excitement, the joy ran throughout the whole body but not that long until her feet finally stepped in front of her class door. It's the first day of her primary school where a new world began. Her eyes were sharply scanning the entire class while being extra cautious that her parents disappeared. She remained calm as the clock ticking and the day ended. Days passed as fast as it could. She couldn't recall having so many friends but she did precisely remember this one mischievous boy that really caught her attention as soon she looked at him. How his eyes sparkled, his sweet-naughty face,everything.God knew how outrageous butterflies were flying in her stomach. It happens every time she sees him.
Matter fact, till this day.
Little did she knew, loving him is a tough battle.
Every moments spent with him, she cherished like no others. Adoring someone, especially at a young age can make someone near to a fool. Calling him a bad boy wont make her any better during that
time cause as far she tryna remember every details which she obviously couldn't, everything seems perfect in her pool of innocent eyes. There's a time when she forgot to bring her eraser/pencil, she straight forward went to him without knowing why? Out of extra bunch of kids in the class but she decided to go to him. She simply asked to borrow one of them and an unexpected outcome came from a seven years old boy(will not be written here) and this fool likewise fell for his (good) trap as usual.Days, months and a year passed. They clicked pretty well that they became a table mate. She was happy, they were happy as kids but not long until one day her family had to move house. Not quite far, but still it was a heart wrenching moment for her. She cried every night convincing her mom that she wanted to stay but she ended up leaving too. Leaving her house, school, friends and especially the boy who made her childhood moments cheerful was really heartbreaking, knowing whether she might or not seeing him again in the future.
She longed for him afterwards. She asked for God to see him and it was returned in a dream. She thanked God for that. He was her first love.
Nevertheless, his name was still in her mind but of course she fell for others too.
----2018- Fifteen years passed and she's a young lady now.
She was not a Facebook kinda person but one day she carelessly scrolling through her dull feed on Facebook after God knows how long and she was so surprised to see someone grown up so well in a picture. She couldn't remember when did she become friends with his sister on Facebook . A tall, handsome figure with a sweet smile, that's all what she could describe.The face that she's been longing to see after so long. Fifteen years is a long time but it was all worth it
She straight away tryna find the courage and found him on Instagram where everything changed. She 'hi-ed' and he responded.
Long short story. She was the happiest, really. I have never seen her this happy. Her smile was the brightest going through her cycle of life. I bet she was really the happiest, happiest girl on planet. Especially when they were on the phone, she giggles as if the world's gonna end tomorrow. So beautiful. She was once thinking, that she wouldn't and couldn't fall again after having a major heartbreak and depression for the past few years where she terribly and strictly denying any feelings that exists. No matter how hard she tries to avoid, the feelings will slowly come no matter what. It's a human nature somehow.
He's everything that she sees. She sees herself when she sees him, she knew the minutes she saw him her heart started beating countless of times. She gets butterflies in her tummy and she couldn't react properly, you know she wanted everything to be perfect on his eyes. Well, who doesn't ? His handsome face, soft spoken, gentle manners, respect towards others, genuine concern for the well-being of those around him and of all other living things are one of the reasons she fell for him.She loves being by his side where she could feel safe and loved. A wonderful feeling surrounds her when he's near when he's far with just the sound of his voice comforts her. At times she stepped back from sleeping for a min and started to wander around not due to sadness but to happiness that yet another
day has passed and she's still by his side admiring one another. She will always tell him that she adores him that she cares for him why? Because she wants him to know that he's on her my mind every moment.. that she thinks of him.. that she does love him until this moment, yes she finally said it and that no one can change the way she feels towards him.
but it's not always rainbow
Everything that had been built kept tumbling down no matter how hard she tried. She didn't know where they went wrong, how things finally changed 360 like this.
---and she finally had the courage to stand out
----2019- It has been a few months since we have seen each other, but only days since we have last spoken. I still think about you often; multiple times a day to be exact. You know how I felt for you since the beginning. I've always been open about my feelings and even willing to bend over backwards for you. I miss you immensely but I know this is for the best. It is painful right now because the wound on my heart is fresh, but with each passing day, I’m learning to live without you. I’m grateful for this, because loving someone you cannot be with is both agonizing and tiresome. I have struggled over the past few weeks to express how I am feeling to you. Verbalizing my emotions is not possible because I am too distraught with heartache to communicate clearly. I decided a letter
would be the best outlet for my thoughts. I find it easier to formulate my words onto a piece of paper than to express them from my lips.I cannot possibly put into words how it feels to have you shatter those hopes and dreams and rip my heart into pieces. It is soul crushing and heart wrenching to know that our part in each other’s lives has come to an end. I wish I could still talk to you though. There are many times that I wish you still would love to listen to me.Although this is a crushing reality, it is one I will survive.
I know that it’s easy to fake the smile and laughs in a crowded place, filled with family and friends. It’s easy to make a joke and laugh loudly, give hugs to those who knows me best. It’s easy to hide the hurt and pain. It’s easy to hide my broken heart.
And I know that as soon as I’m alone and the door is shut, how quickly that it all disappears. The smile dims and my heart thuds brokenly when I let my mind run free. It’s easy then, almost habit that I
fall to the floor or curl up on a ball on the bed, and cry, not remembering what exactly made me this way. All I know is that I am in pain and hurt, and feel all alone, and knowing that tomorrow I will repeat the same thing.
I was deeply in pain
Right now, I’m trying to fix myself, picking up the pieces, and trying to be whole from all that was left of me. I wish this broken heart love letter will find its way to you. I wish I can still let you know how much I miss you, that I will always be missing you…
That you still can come whenever you want, that this shoulder is always ready if you want to just that she's scared to approach again. I'm sorry
While I am hurt, I am not angry. I loved you, and I will never forget the memories we created and the lessons you have taught me.Getting to know and loving you is the biggest blessing I've ever encountered. Thank you so much for everything. I pray nothing but the best for you, and that god granted the highest level of strength and sabr to you so you could go through your days with peace and the biggest smile on your face. See you when I see you ♥️
- 30/3/19, 3:15am
